i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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