Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
