I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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