I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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