Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
