Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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