Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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