i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
