At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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