oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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