She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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