found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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