what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
