It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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