I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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