Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
This toilet bowl is my home.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
