Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
