Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Can you bring me the toilet please
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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