i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
