Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so that wasnt chicken after all
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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