I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
