I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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