you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
They have beer where we have blood.
I touched a dick in church today
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
