He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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