After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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