i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
MIDGETS
????
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
