this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
