Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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