i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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