as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
either way he was missing a nipple.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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