I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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