you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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