I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
