it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize