I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
