You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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