who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
