you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
