My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
