by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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