so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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