You just made me feel so damn special
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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