I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
