Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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