My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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