I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
