If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
the liver wants what the liver wants
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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