i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
