god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize