Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
