As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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