SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
