Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize