someone threw a dead crab at me
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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