I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
