"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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