Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
