I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
