Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
