you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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