I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
