That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
