i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
