Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
