i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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