I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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